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2005 Bubba Ray's Hunker Down Dawg Report

DAWGS OPEN DOOR FER VOLS TO SET UP SHOP IN SEC CELLAR

Well, the whole Danged Brigade done got outta Mizzippi without no duke outs with nobody and headed East to Tenn-Ah-Sea. When they got near to that there Chatternooger, they set up camp fer a couple days to git theirselves all fixed up and ready fer a Orange Slush Whuppin.' They stopped in a place called "Irene's Ribs & Nails" and took advantage a her slogan, "Eat Yer Ribs in Pails, Whilst We Trim Yer Nails." So Charlene Bootsie and Eunice Wylene got theirselves three buckets a ribs to chomp on whilst they got their toenails done in Red & Black.

Pecker Osburn wuz gettin' kinda down since he ain't seen Polly Esther Gwinnett lately. And he jest kept a lookin' at "Sports Model" Higginbotham and how she sticks out her chest aroun' "Touchdown" Rodney Love. Well, Bubba Ray and Skeeter felt sorry fer the feller and they checked out a little shop called "Guido & Melvin's" and bought the boy a nice new blow up gal in a box with a automatic air pump. Once Pecker got his new love babe all pumped up to 34psi, well, the boy took a turn fer the better. 'Course he had to keep her away from the campfire, but usually by time fer vittles, he had done boxed her up fer the night anyways.

The Tenn-Ah-Sea game is always the bestest fer Toole Shedd 'cause them gals in Orange always think the "T" on his hat means "Tenn-Ah-Sea". But he likes to remind 'em it means "Toole" and he ain't talkin' 'bout no hacksaw or no claw hammer. Anyways, it time fer the Dawgs to take over the SEC East....

They got a Hound Dog
and we think he's named Smokey

Ain't much of a bird dog
might be jest Okey-Dokey

But a real Dawg is comin'
and he shore likes to Hunker

Dawgs bring D. J. Shockley
not a second class Chunker

Them Vols have been braggin'
as we know they're inclined

But they're in fer a Whuppin'
and our Dawgs shore don't mind

When they whupped LSU
you'd a thunk it wuz Magic

But when the Dawg Bites
it will be downright Tragic

They'll slide down the Polls
it's the end a their Dream

They'll be nuthin' fer Phil
'cept some stale Krispy Kreme

We'll see Orange ever where
it will look like a Slush

But the Big Dawg Backfield
will make Rocky Top Hush

Them Dawgs will be ready
it's full throttle fer Blue

Dawgs will score 30
and the Vols 22!!!


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