DAWGS TURN COCKY ROOSTERS INTO
A BUCKET A KFC
Well, the whole danged Brigade done showed up fer
a good ol' fashion
Eagle Whuppin' and then packed up their stuff and headed single-file
east toward South Caroliner 'bout midnight. Phoole the Mule and
Toole Shedd wuz leadin' up front with a big ol' kerosene lamphangin'
off Phoole's Red & Black bridle.
Somewheres aroun' midway 'tween Aiken and Columbier,
'bout 4:30am, the
Brigade stopped fer some late nite vittles at a place called "Naughty
Nadine's Nite-time Nachos and Massage Parler."
Tell ya' what, don't know what kinda nachos Nadine was sellin'
in the back room, but Skeeter and Pecker wuz shore full a smiles
when they departed.
Anyways, it wuz a good day in Athens 'cept it wuz
a tad warm and Skeeter
got to smellin' a bit gamey in the early afternoon. Eunice Wylene
wuz jest hammerin' the feller and wuz fixin' to dowse 'em with
some Pabst Blue Ribbon to freshin' 'im up, when Polly Esther took
some Yard Guard outta her supp hose and sprayed it under each
a his armpits. Then she duct taped a couple a green pine cones
under each a his arms and the breeze in the vicinity improved
real fast.
"Touchdown" Rodney Love had done got hisself
a new guitar at the Wal-Mart and sung his new song destined fer
stardom, "I licked her toes 'till I done ran outta mustard."
It had the gals usin' up all the Kleenex. He followed it up with
"Ain't nobody ugly after midnite" and that even got
Figerin' Perry to sobbin'.
Now, when the Brigade done arrived 'bout 18 miles
outside Columbier,
they commenced to pitch camp in a corn field. But the twins, Bonnie
Sue &
Connie Sue, started to whine and whine since they is scared a
corn fields after seein' that Mel Giddens movie whence he lived
in a dadgum corn field and these outta space fellers start a comin'
aroun' to make trouble.
They wuz out in the fields spellin' ugly words, like "GATER"
and makin'
ugly symbols what looked like Yeller Jackets and what not. All
that, plus the twins reminded Bubba Ray that them outta space
fellers looked jest like the Beulow Boys. Well, Bubba Ray soon
found a underseeded cotton field fer campin' and made the Beulow
Boys sleep in their flatbed.
Now, let's fergit 'bout them outta space fellers
and open the SEC with a
ding danged Rooster whuppin'.
The Big Dawg looked Tuff
while the Offense wuz cruisin'
Them Eagles went home
'cause the Big "D" wuz bruisin'
Now, it's SEC Time
& Dawgs don't like them 'Cocks
'Cause that clever Ol' Lou
seems to always have Jocks
Them Roosters will crow
& their spurs will be shinin'
But by the third quarter
them 'Cocks will be whinin'
Them Gamecocks is really
jest a bucket a wings
While Dawgs will be headin'
toward Champeenship rings
Since they're playin' at home
them 'Cocks shore are loud
& there might be a moment
when they'll crow and be proud
That crowin' won't last
& they'll learn to beware
As them Dawgs move the ball
with a weapon named WARE
Them 'Cocks will be roadkill
& will shorely smell dead
After Greene chunks the ball
to a Bulldawg named Fred
It ain't never easy
when ya' line up 'gainst Lou
KFC scores 14
and them Dawgs 22!
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