DAWGS TO OUTDRAW MARSHALL DILLONS
IN SANFORD SHOOTOUT
So the whole danged Bubba Ray Brigade ends up sittin'
on the the toppest
row in that dingdang South Caroliner stadium what looks like a
big ol' bug layin' on his back. Them Dawgs is soon down 16 -Zip
and across the aisle this here 380 pound Caroliner gal wearin'
a black shirt with "Eula's Jiffy Lube" over the pocket,
sez to Bubba Ray, she sez, our Big 'Cocks is gonna whup ya' good.
Well, after 'bout 10 minutes a this, Bubba Ray takes his whole
jumbo box a Cracker Jacks and chunks it at Eula and she ducks
and them Cracker Jacks hit her boyfriend, Eddie. So Eddie chunks
his footlong hotdawg at Bubba Ray which lands unceremoniously
on Eunice Wylene's new dippety-doo platinum blonde hairdo. Eunice
Wylene grabs Skeeter's Milk Duds and slings 'em back and all of
a sudden there is barbeque ribs, wassermelon rinds, 'tater chips,
18 cans a Pabst Blue Ribbon, and onion rings a flyin' all over
the top three rows.
Well, them Caroliner folks keep chunkin' and yellin' and bye and
bye, Fingerin' Perry yells, "Ya' figer ya' might lose 'cause
them Dawgs has jest scored 20 which is considerable more than
16!!" And Vernon "GoFerTwo" Derryberry starts a
yellin' "GOFERTWO!! GOFERTWO!!" Well, the Boy Scouts,
police, and volunteer fire department comes a rushin' up the steps
and commences to expell the whole danged Brigade. But on the way
out, Bubba Ray managed to lodge three drumsticks in Eula's cleavage,
which might not be discovered until about Thursday.
Now when Bubba Ray wuz a little feller, he used to
watch Marshall Dillon
and Chester, and Doc, and Kitty and Festus on the 12 inch black
and white with them rabbit ears, and he shore loved Marshall and
Dodge City. He can't figure why a bunch a marshalls is comin'
to Athens, but he knows the Dawgs is gonna whup 'em.
Them Bulldawgs is barkin'
'cause they whupped Ol' Lou Holtz
They fried the Ol' Gamecock
jest like huge lightenin' bolts
Now a Herd sez it's comin'
& they brag that they're Thunderin'
But the storm won't last long
when the Big Dawg starts plunderin'
Don't know much 'bout Marshall
is they lawmen like Dillon?
If their Herd's full of cattle
could be tasty fer grillin'
Them Dawgs will be growlin'
& they shore will be woofin'
While the visitin' Herd
will be scared and start hoofin'
The Dawg's on a roll
call this Win Number Three
Marshall Dillon scores 20
& them Dawgs 43!!!
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