Lowcountry Dawgs | University of Georgia Fan Club

"BAWLIN' TEARS" DROP FIVE IN A ROW TO ROCK CRUSHIN' DAWGS

Thank goodness the Right Rev. Hal E. Looyer put his hand in the collection plate and took fourteen dollers and sprung Bubba Ray from the hoosegow and the amourous clutches a "Earlene", the Big Rig driver and ballroom dancer. "Earlene" wuz tired a Bubba Ray anyways since he never wuz no good at "the dip." Bubba Ray done got out and made it to the LSU whuppin'. The Brigade parked next to a bunch a LSU Cajun Creole fellers kind a led by a fancy type feller named Pierre La Crude from Slidell, Loozieanner. Well, Pierre La Crude was jest a playin' his Zydeco music on an on and a dancin' with his main squeeze he kept a callin' "Option". So by and by, Bubba Ray asks the feller, he sez, "Why do ya' call yer gal "Option"?? And so Pierre sez, "'Cause she can score from any position!"

Now, thangs wuz goin' along right friendly until "Sports Model" Higginbotham wuz overheard tellin' Eunice Wylene and Charlene Bootsie, that the "Option" gal all fancied up in purple an gold wuz wearin' WHITE high heels, and don't no gal wear WHITE high heels after Laber Day. Well, it wuz 'tween Zydeco dancin' and "Option" heard the comment and commenced to chunkin' barbequed crawfish and Johnny Cake at "Sports Model." A big ol' steamin' airborne crawfish landed on "Sports Model's" chest and slid right smack dab south down her cleavage 'tween her dandy 36DD's. So Skeeter runs over and sez "I'll save ya'!!" and inserts his right hand into the promised land whilst clutcin' a drumbstick in his left hand. The boy gits his barbeque stained hand lodged in the considerable shadders a the cleavage and "Sports Model" commences to grab the boy by his neck and sling 'im aroun' and aroun' this a way and that.

Purdy soon, Skeeter is summer saltin' over the wassermelon and pecan pie and lands
right at the feet of a disgusted Polly Esther Gwinnett what had been watchin' the whole
spectacle unfold. Skeeter stands up and cleans hisself off and promises Polly Esther that he wuz jest tryin' to help "Sports Model" and he promised to jest go fishin' next week and not go to the Bawlin' Tears whuppin' at all. In fact the boy promised he'd take Donnie Ray, the oldest boy, with him on the fishin' trip 'cause he overheard Charlene Bootsie tellin' Eunice Wylene that the boy had a "big case a worms."

Now, let's whup some more fellers...but don't fergit, it ain't never too early to send in them dollers fer the "Send Bubba Ray to Jaxsunville" Annual Gater Whuppin' Fund.

Them Dawgs whupped Loozieanner
& we won't see Nick agin

They like to dress in Purple Beads
& act like "girlie men"

Now Phat Phil brings his "Bawlin' Tears"
along with Krispy Kreme

Them fellers from the Smokey Mounts
think they're a football team

But Rocky Top is slidin' fast
the smoke done left the mounts

Them Champeen Years is in the Past
Five in a row shore counts!

Their Dog is Smokey - he's a Hound
he'll bark and tree a 'coon

But when a Dawg is on the hunt
The Big Orange falls real soon

Ya' won't hear Rocky Top played much
fer them it shore ain't fun

The Big Dawg wins with 34
Bawlin' Tears score 21!!